I’ve tried once before to keep a blog. It lasted a whopping one post. I guess there was a previous blogging-type endeavor if you count my Live Journaling days (which I’m more comfortable pretending never, EVER happened. Angst, angst, ANGST.). Blogging always sounded like a logical thing for me to be into—I’ve always considered myself a writer, and I’m relatively tech-savvy. Maybe I’ve just had a hard time really believing that I have anything to say. My many years of writing in well-worn and incredibly confidential journals have perhaps trained me to keep my thoughts to myself. And maybe that needs to change.
The idea for this blog started in October of 2011 when I came across the photo-spread for ESPN Magazine’s 2011 Body Issue. I posted a link to my Faceook page and started writing an accompanying comment…which got longer and longer until I realized it was something more. I really had something to say. I immediately opened a blank document and started writing. I was analysis-hungry—add that to my sass and my need to write things out, and few hours later, I had the majority of a pretty fiery essay. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to write an essay so badly. Partially because I felt like I was seeing something that wasn’t being talked about, and WHY WASN’T IT BEING TALKED ABOUT?! Suddenly I felt I had this mission to write this piece and post it to a blog. A blog? I don’t even HAVE a blog! Then I would start one. Even if this was the only thing I put on said blog, it needed to be done. It also didn’t hurt that the essay was incredibly cathartic to write. (Leave it to me to graduate from college and genuinely miss writing a good ol’ essay.)
It took me a week or so to finish and finesse the piece. I printed it out (I edit better on paper), but then it just sat in my backpack, untouched. I had poured a ton of time and effort into pushing out this piece that I felt needed to be written, but my satisfaction at its complete-ish state stole away a good deal of my motivation. I don’t know why, but I no longer felt a dire need to share it with the world. Other commitments and projects flooded my to-do list and my Body Issue essay fell from priority. I watched it happen. I actually thought about it often. I just never did anything about it.
This isn’t an uncommon thing for me, which may come as a surprise to the people who know me as the over-achiever I tend to be. The thing is that I have a very broad array of interests, and I get really excited and inspired by many different things. I jump into projects very quickly and with a lot of steam, but my follow-through rarely reflects my initial determination. Some of my spontaneous passions actually do take root—my all-out teach-myself-to-knit period has led to knitting being one of the main things I do to kill time or keep my hands busy; my fascination with roller derby has turned into the sport being a huge part of my life. But…there is that garbage bag full of dirty, raw wool in my basement that I never cleaned and spun into yarn. There are those feverishly scribbled ideas for plays and short stories left abandoned on various pages of pretty much every notebook I own. And there have been more than one garden that I’ve prepped and planted with enthusiasm only to let it grow wild and leave the responsibility of its care to my mother (sorry, Mom!).
So maybe part of this blog is an exercise in commitment—finishing what I start. Something to encourage me to squelch the procrastination and ride my passions out from beginning to end. First on the to-do list will be to edit and publish that essay!
There’s a chance this blog will be another one of those projects that just falls by the wayside…but—who knows—maybe not.
My hope is that media critique makes up a good number of my posts, but I’ll be branching into other things as well. I’m not much for shining a spotlight on my personal life (most of that will still stay scrawled on the pages of my journal), but I’m sure my own stories and adventures will play their own part here. I’d also like to track some of my crafting projects and maybe even bring roller derby into the picture. My plan is to play it by ear and see where my inspiration takes me.
So stay tuned.